A brief vist with cancer
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
By: Cathy Beaven

Dad lost his short fight with cancer with his five kids and loving wife, my Mom by his side. He wanted to be so positive and wanted to believe he could fight and win.

Dad went into the hospital to have another bypass nine years ago at age 70 and was told a week later that they would not be able to do it as he had stage 4 liver cancer.

He went in thinking he had the rest of his life to celebrate and died 3 1/2 months later. He ended up with gangrene when they removed his left leg at the knee and again removed a portion higher up a month later as he was in such pain. The bypass was needed since he had blockages to that leg that caused severe pain and limited his walking. Doctors were now saying that his cancer caused his blood to be very thick and became the reason for the blockages, even though he had been on blood thinners for many years.

Dad struggled to stay alive since my baby sister was 7 months pregnant with her first baby and he so wanted to see that baby born! He always laughed that he had his own baseball team with all his grandchildren numbering 9 at the time and now 11. His other goal was to outlive the age his dad died. He did manage to do that when he turned 70 in February of that year. When Dad went into a coma a week before he died we were told that everyone picks their own time to die and Dad was no different.

Mom had taken her first day off, the first week of April, from being with Dad every day since he had been hospitalized. We had transferred him to Elizabeth Bruyere two weeks prior and his doctor had told me that Thursday morning that he did not expect him to last the weekend. I called Mom and told her and she called all my siblings. We spent the time with Dad, saying our goodbyes to him, telling him he could go now and that we all loved him so much. We all wanted him to die with us there, surrounding him with our love.

On Sunday morning Mom went for breakfast with my brother and a sister. I stayed with my other two sisters in his room. Then two of us went outside to get some fresh air and to say goodbye to Mom. When we got back to Dad's room my older sister had just put the phone down, after talking to her husband and she was just turning to Dad when we came in. She said Dad was not breathing! He had waited until all of us were not focused on him. The whole time we all thought he was afraid to die alone but I think he wanted to spare us seeing him take his last breath and did not want our last thought of him to be fearful. He always liked to do things his own way and in his own time.

Should cancer strike our family again, I hope that with the money we raise we will have a fighting chance!