One of Joan O’Connell’s first “hands-on” experiences with cancer was back in 1970, when her Dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer. “As a family we took turns taking him back and forth to Halifax for appointments. Mum did not drive. We had three small children and every day I would put them in the car and go visit Gramp, as I wanted them to have some memories of Dad.”

When Joan became pregnant with her fourth child in May 1971, she had to stop driving to Halifax. “I would become sick every time I went in a vehicle, and so could no longer take my Dad for appointments. But we still tried to spend as much time as we could with him. At this time there were no groups or information to read about cancer. It was not talked about openly, not even at home. My mum and brothers and sister did not speak of the disease. In August, we celebrated his 55th birthday and exactly one month later he was gone.”

Her second experience came a few years later when her mother-in-law developed cervical cancer. “She was a fighter and survived for awhile, but then the cancer spread.”

In 1979, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Joan became her main caregiver. “During this time I spent more time at my mum’s than I did in our home. But I was married to a saint who never complained and took care of as much as he could, while fishing and lobstering, and also running our home. Our two sons were still at home and I was kept busy trying to keep both houses running, with laundry, housework and preparing meals.”

But the heavy load took its toll. “I became exhausted and had a breakdown and was hospitalized as I had not slept for three months. I would go to bed every night, but never closed my eyes…I was told that I had to give up caring for my mum. It took almost two years for me to fully recover.” Joan’s mother passed away in September 1997. “I have no regrets of what we, as a family did for her,” she says.

Her respite from cancer was short-lived. In December 2000, Joan was diagnosed with breast cancer. “I opted for a complete radical mastectomy, which revealed that I had two forms of breast cancer (intraduct and invasive stage 4 cancer) that had already spread to the lymph nodes. I knew from caring for mum that cancer loves stress, so I knew that I had to develop a positive attitude,” recalls the Barrington, Nova Scotia native.

Joan had already joined two local support groups, but when someone asked her if she would join the Barrington and Area Living with Cancer Support Group, she gave it a try. “This is one of the best groups that I have been part of. There is no whimpering and snarling here and everyone supports each other. We can openly talk about our experiences and we all have something in common cancer. This disease is finally talked about more and has come out of the closet into the public.”

Although her cancer came back again in March 2007, this feisty grandmother has once again beaten it. From her lengthy experience with cancer, Joan offers some advice for those who don’t know what to say to someone with the disease: “You don’t have to say anything. Just approach them and take hold of their hand. The cancer survivor will do the rest.”