It’s okay to cry. That’s what Dennis Auger would like men who have been diagnosed with cancer to know. As a peer-support volunteer, Dennis has talked to countless number of men who have been diagnosed with prostate cancer. Dennis says he’s only talked to one man who didn’t admit to crying once during his cancer experience. “I want them to know that it’s not a sign of weakness.”

In 2003, his doctor first noticed a lump in Dennis’ prostrate during a routine medical exam. A biopsy and several tests were ordered. “The waiting for the results of the tests was more agonizing than finding the lump. I thought I was going to have a heart attack with all the stress,” recalls the self-employed insurance broker.

Test results came back positive for prostate cancer. “I left my doctor’s office, I was perplexed. I didn’t have any of the usual symptoms, like getting up in the night a lot to urinate.” Although Dennis told his wife Irene right away, he waited a few days to tell his daughters. “My wife’s mother had just died. The funeral was on the weekend. So I didn’t tell my kids right away because I couldn’t find the right time.”

When Dennis finally found the right time, he told his two adult daughters: “Don’t worry if you see me crying. It helps relieve my stress.” 

Being open about his feelings was an important part of his healing journey. “With the support of my wife and family and friends, I was able to heal emotionally, too.”

Men with cancer are sometimes reluctant to reach out for emotional support, says Dennis. When he was first diagnosed, someone recommended joining a support group for men with prostate cancer. At first, Dennis balked at the idea. “I had the preconception that it would be a bunch of old men, sitting around telling dirty jokes. But it was nothing like that. It was great. There were men of all ages there with their wives.”

Having wives and partners involved in support groups is important, says Dennis. “You can talk to men and their partners and find out how things worked for them, like dealing with intimacy.”

Because of his cancer, Dennis says that he and his wife have met all sorts of people across the country through peer support groups and the Canadian Cancer Society’s Living with Cancer Conference. “If you meet someone with cancer, you have a common bond.”

Dennis says the experience has been enrichening. “For me, I can say that cancer was one of the best things that happened to me, in a way. Because I never would have met all of these wonderful people.”